Make Sure You Wash Those

I like funny stories. I like stories that make me smile, laugh, and bust a gut until I cry. This is one of those stories. Similar to the Steve and Becky story this is true but names have been changed to protect those involved. Even though in this story those involved might appreciate some acknowledgment. I was not a direct contact with the events that happened in this story however I heard the details from the “horse’s mouth” so to speak.

Yesterday Jacob wanted an orange. His son, Phillip, was in the office and was running around like he does best. Talking to everyone, touching anything he can get his little hands on, and playing massive amounts of Nintendo Wii. When he begins to get tired he goes to see Bob about getting a juicy tangerine from the kitchen sliced. Bob takes care of the peel and slices the tangerine into large chunks of vitamin c goodness. Just as Phillip begins to eat his snack he decides to offer some to his father.

His father so excited about the sharing that is taking place he obliges and takes a large piece of fruit. While on the phone, he begins to eat the slice of orange. (Can someone tell me the difference in an orange and a tangerine? Is there a difference?) As Jacob begins to eat the slice of orange he notices that the taste was not what he had quite expected. Was it spoiled? Perhaps just old? Who knows. As Jacob swallows and has no ambition to take another bite of the orange he moves himself around in his chair and notices something that explains every bit of the bad taste in his mouth. He notices a bottle sitting on the table near the bowl of tangerines. He notices that the bottle is open. The cap is sitting there just screaming “someone opened me.”

When Jacob realized what had happened and what he was tasting he turns to his son to ask what had happened. “So, Phillip, why did you put Windex all over the oranges?”

“Well, Daddy, why was the Windex sitting where children can reach it?” This was his response as Jacob could do nothing but put a semi smile on his face. A few moments later Jacob reads the bottle to see what he had actually put in his system. The bottle reads “may cause serious illness.” (I actually am pretty sure that was not the actual wording on the bottle. It was possibly something more like may cause death or dismemberment. I am just not sure the exact wording at this time.)

So Jacob comes to my desk to tell me this story and begins to feel queasy. He wonders if that warning label might know what it was talking about. I talk him down and try to get him to look at the bright side of this situation. I told him, “Look Jacob, at least you know that the tangerine was clean.”

The moral of this story is that do not wash your tangerines with Windex. They may be able to provide streak free windows and leave your sliding glass doors next to invisible (not invincible which is something I recently learned the difference of) but not to clean your fruit products.

You have been warned. (And to you parents out there. How dare you leave your Windex in the reach of children. Silly parents.)