Can I Get A Double Cheeseburger, Large Fry, Two Apple Pies, and a Diet Coke Please?


I have seen this man on TV numerous times. I have seen him basically idolized on Oprah more than once. I have seen this guy do interviews, talk to the press of his on going issues (yeah, guess what they are), and even speak about his wife and how happy they are together. But this week I have seen this guy talk about his newest toy. Fatty got himself a car. Well, not a car. But he got a truck to be driven around in. This man is so fat that he had to have one wall from his house removed to get him into the sunshine. I mean, when does enough become enough? When you wake up one morning and say, “Honey, I can’t get out. I’m too fat.”

And this does a few things for me. One, it pisses me off. And before you feel all agitated toward me for saying that, let me explain. This man has stated before that he would eat upwards of 30,000 calories a day. OK, what is the daily recommended intake for a healthy adult? 2,000? 2,500? 30,000? A day? I mean, come on. And you wonder how he got so far. He got so fat because of his insane eating habits. He became addicted to food. Yeah, no kidding.

But why do people continue to feel sorry for him? Why do they run TV specials on his struggle? Why do they continue to give this dying man exposure? Because people love to see it, that’s why. I mean, I am not the skinniest man in the world (shut up Sheryl, gRegor, Suzie) but come on. I am only a few pounds over weight. This guy eats my daily intake in one bite. And besides that he is absolutely disgusting.

And I am sure you will say that I am just upset with his exposure, or jealous of him in some way. Well, I’m not. But take a look at what has brought him back into the news this week. He gets out of his a few years ago and can not do much more than just turn his head and see the sunshine. But this time is because he has been given a car. OK, how is that news? He is fat, get over it. He did it to himself. He does not have disorder that causes him to eat a cracker and gain a pound. This guy eats 30,000 calories a day. He deserves to look like this.

So great, Mr. Fat got himself a ride. Congratulations. Now you can tell all your friends to that you are driving to the theater tonight! Oh wait, can you afford movie tickets? Just think, you can buy an extra turkey leg at lunch tomorrow if you skip the movie.

Excuse me for being bitter and upset with this but I hate that my news stories continue to be filled with this pop culture garbage. I see fat people all the time. Just walk into any public place in the United States and you will see fat people. But leave this guy alone. He can not possibly have too many years left. The guy’s heart (all of his organs for that matter) have got to be on their last leg. His health has got to be shot. He can not exercise for he can not walk. He can not loose weight by sitting there and continuing on this diet. So stop talking about him.

Again, I am sorry if I have offended anyone, but this was his choice. He chose to eat these pounds and has chose to spend the thousands of dollars to make him the way he is. I am just glad that he has been able to find what seems to be true love with his wife. At least he can share that with someone. But give it up news crews. He is fat.

Can someone pass me the gravy?