Surprise Weekend Getaway: Part 2

So once we finally get through the swings for the other team desk clerk we made our way to our room. And God forbid the lady that told us how to get there actually explained how to get there. She talked to fast that I had no idea what she said. Glad we had a map. (By the way, this entire post will explore my bitterness with the hotel. This should prove to be a good post due to the humor that will flow from my fingers. But yes, I am mad through about 99% of this.)

So we get to our room and we walk in to our surprise there are tiles all over the entryway. Before we could even turn the light on I knew what this meant. We were in the “presidential suite”. We flip the lights on, walk over to see the bed, which was a king size by the way, and notice there is a bath tub in the middle of the room. But upon further inspection it was not a bath tub but rather a jacuzzi. We get a king sized bed and a jacuzzi in the same room? You have got to be kidding me. Plus, you could see the TV from both locations. Did we even need to leave the room?

So we head out to grab some adult beverages at the gas station, because in Ohio all gas stations have the ability to sell alcohol, and enjoy an evening just relaxing. (You can also buy alcohol in Ohio on Sunday. Which is something that I will never understand why the state of Indiana will not commit to. It is a day of rest, sure, but I want to rest with a beer on some hot summer days, not a diet Coke. Although diet Coke is good.) And when we get to the Speedway and walk in there was something that pulled my camera right out of my pocket. We were starring at the Speedway Beer Cave. I am not even kidding you it was the largest part of the gas station and included beers from all over the place. You had your selection of 40 ounce beers, six packs, and even full cases of beer. All at 34 degrees or lower! How cool is that?

So we grab a couple of drinks and head back to the hotel. We pop a bottle, flip the knob to turn the water on in the hot tub, and nothing. The water did not work. The hot water was out. The cold water was out. Even the button to activate the bubbles was out. Was this some kind of joke? Did I have to insert quarters somewhere? Or was this just for show and tell? So I head over to call the front desk (not sure what I was going to get accomplished at two in the morning) to complain about the situation at hand. And when I began speaking to the man that answered the phone my IQ dropped ten points.

He was telling me stories of how the tub in that room did not work (as if I did not already know that) and that we did not order a room with a jacuzzi, just a king sized bed. He stated that there were no other rooms and that he had no control over the jacuzzi actually working. Of course unless we wanted to pay an additional fee per night to have access. So we bicker back and forth for a few and I realize that nothing will come of it so I hang up. Moving on.

The next day when I was getting ready to go God knows where I noticed something. The bathroom was covered in rust. There was rust on the toilet paper dispenser, the Kleenex dispenser, the shower head; it was everywhere. I am glad that I did not get any infections while I was there. So I deal with that. What else could go wrong, right? So I hope in the shower to take a rusty colored bath (it was not rust colored nor did I take a bath) and I notice the shower head had options to go from a calm flow of water to a harder, more direct flow. You have seen these shower heads. They have seven or so different patterns of flow for the water to come out. I always like to play around until I ind one I really like! But guess what? That did not work either.

After my shower all I want is a nice cup of coffee to start my day. So I have one cup. Moving forward in time to the next morning, and the morning after that that cup of coffee was the only one I would get. They did not refill the coffee at all in our stay. Also, on top of that, the coffee pot had not been washed from the inhabitants in the room prior to us. The coffee pot was dirty and had evidence of use. But we got one cup out of the trip.

Now, while Sheryl is getting ready, let’s check my mail. But of course, when I open my lap top to do so the free, promised wi-fi does not work. Not once during the entire trip was I or my girlfriend able to connect to the wi-fi. On the second night she even called customer service to get a technician on the line to fix the issue. The first person she talked to knew less than the bed we were sitting on. She was sent to a level two tech and he was shocked that she was running Windows 7. So from the very beginning I knew where this was going to end. After about a thirty minute phone call he states that he is going to call her back with a solution. He never called.

About this time I was having some fun of my own. Instead of letting the jacuzzi bother us all weekend we decided to head to Walmart and improvise. We purchased a ten foot garden hose extension. This extension went from the bathroom to the hot tub. I held one end while Sheryl held the other. We had purchased bubble bath to add some ambiance to the evening and sat back and waited as the tub began to fill! After about thirty minutes or so we had a full bath of bubbles. But, not to mention the leak we had in the bathroom from the water spilling everywhere. We could have had two pools to play in.

The only good thing I can say about the hotel (and yes, this is the only good thing) was the water was always hot. It never once went cold in the entire time that we were filling the hot tub. And that came back to bite us in the butt, literally, when we tried to enter said tub. The water was so hot that I was unable to sit in it for more than a couple of minutes. So I blew out the candles (yes, I was trying to be romantic) and laid in the bed with the AC turned on full blast. (By the way, every time we left the AC on it would be off when we returned to the room.)

So besides the fact that we had to stare a hot tub that we could not use, eat crappy unorganized breakfast food (that is a blog post in itself), suffer without wi-fi for three days, have zero caffeine from the dirty coffee pot, and watch scrabbled (nearly every one) TV channels, it was a pretty awesome hotel. The front desk wanted nothing to do with it. They kept trying to send us back to hotels.com. But do you think a website will answer a phone call and make your jacuzzi work at two in the morning?

Are there any good things about the room? The bed was comfortable. There were plenty of pillows. The door locks worked. And that is about it. (Did I forget to mention that the toilet paper roll was half gone when we got into the room? That is just gross to me.)

I would never suggest nor recommend a Comfort Inn to anyone. The outside looked amazing and the reviews were decent. The price fit both our budgets and we got a great deal close to the park. But the quality of the staff, the service that was shown to us, the fact that everything went wrong one thing after another (did I tell you that the pool did not have any water in it?) makes for a pissed off blog post and a story to tell you all.

So the next time you are faced with a crappy hotel and you are trying to fill your hot tub at two in the morning give me a call. I have a solution for you!