I have heard my fair share of fat jokes. They are pretty much endless from a few people in my life, not naming names, and they usually are pretty harsh. I think there needs to be an app for that.
But I do not consider myself fat. I eat fairly healthy and I try to exercise when I have time. I work too much and I spend too much time in front of a lap top to work out as much as some but when I have the chance I do. I walk every time I play golf and I try to run a few miles a couple of times a week. I would not consider myself fat, just healthy and full. Festively plump if you will. I am a growing boy, for goodness sake.
But there are a few things that make me consider becoming a vegetarian. And this is one of them. There has been over the past few years a surge in bacon. Bacon is part of a healthy breakfast, tastes great on a burger, and is good on pretty much anything you can think to put it on. And if full strips are not your thing then try some back bits. It’s bacon (usually) just chopped into small pieces for your enjoyment.
But what else can you do with bacon? Well, this week I have found two new uses for the fatty treat. The first was a bottle of Vodka. The vodka was infused with bacon. Now, gRegor had posted a link about this (which is not new news buddy) and I was sparked to find some more bacon inspired dishes. And that is where I found the bottle of squeeze bacon you see above you. It is 100% bacon paste and according to the experts (how do you land a job like that?) it tastes exactly like bacon. But it comes in a nice little squeeze tube for you to store wherever you see fit.
The bacon paste is bottled in Sweden, however it is made with United States swine. (I hope they do not have swine flu.) Each bottle also contains 64 slices of bacon (who measured that) and has a shelf life of 12 years. So, if you have a bottle of that stuff lying around somewhere, and you forget to squeeze to your failing heart’s content, you have some time. And to make this even worse; there is no refrigeration needed. So not only ten years from now can you squeeze a strip of bacon into your mouth when you are bored, you can pull it straight from the cupboard.
What I want to know is who produces this? I found the image and description on a geek website (it was really meant for geeks) and I think was posted there as a joke but I am intrigued. I want a bottle of bacon. I can not even begin to think what I would put this stuff on. Anyone out there have bottled bacon at your local grocery? I want some. If you mail me some I will feature not only a copy of the nutritional label (because that in itself would be worth tracking a bottle of this down) but I will write a blog post about your journey in finding me some liquid bacon.
What would you put your squeeze bacon on? Pizza? A burger? What about a hot dog or a piece of toast? Maybe a watermelon or some french fries. The options are endless.
So, will someone please pass the bacon?
