Did You Know I Could Order That Here?

When was the last time that you went out to dinner and ended up getting fast food as no one in the car could decide on a place to eat?  If you are like most Americans, it has already happened at least once this week.  In fact, 64% of Americans eat at a fast food (McDonald’s, Hardee’s, White Castle) at least once a week.  And we wonder why we are so fat.

Take a look at the movie Morgan Spurlock did a few years back.  He ate McDonald’s for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day for thirty days.  If you have not seen the movie, please go rent it immediately.  The film is very well done and he puts himself through hell eating what we think is harmless.  He gains insane amounts of weight and puts himself in danger of massive heart failure according to his doctor.  He spends nights throwing up and is always tired and out of breath.  I mean, I don’t know about you, but this sounds like the way I want to spend my life.  They have a dollar menu, though, so it wouldn’t cost me all that much.

Outside of the fact you are all fat (don’t worry, I am too) did you know that when you go to a fast food restaurant you have options.  I mean, sure, you have options on the menu in front of you but those are not all that you have to choose from.  I have compiled a list of a few oddities that you can order the next time you visit any one of these fast food places.  (I even through Starbucks in there for you coffee drinkers.)

In-N-Out Burger

This only applies to you West coast readers but In-N-Out Burger has a slew of selections that are not on their menu.  For instance, did you know that you could get a grilled cheese there?  It is the same set up as their regular burgers, and even includes the toppings, but is just sans meat.  Kind of defeats the purpose of going to In-N-Out Burger but that is one option.

Let’s say that you are in the mood for some French fries but want a little more flavor than just salt and ketchup.  Well, then order your fries “Animal” style.  This will include diced hamburger meat, grilled onions, pickles, and 1000 Island dressing.  If you didn’t feel a heart attack coming on before now, welcome to the world of high cholesterol.

Jamba Juice

I had my first Jamba Juice experience a few weeks ago and I came out just fine.  I was nervous as I am not the smoothie type, but managed to get a recommendation from one of the mixers and enjoyed my drink until the last drop.  But if you are in the mood for something a little out of the ordinary, then try ordering a Gummy Bear Smoothie.  Or maybe you are more in the mood for a strawberry cheesecake smoothie.  Jamba Juice is not healthy, so please stop trying to tell yourself that, so if you are going to do it to it big.  You might as well have some fun with the mixers while you are at it.  But beware, the more bizarre your smoothie choice the more you are bound to pay.  The more exotic drinks increase in price based on the ingredients and the time it takes to create one of these smoothie masterpieces.


I told you that I would include you insomniacs in this list of awkward menu items.  Next time you are in Starbucks order a Red Eye.  Of course, they will get mad as this drink takes forever to prepare, but the end result is well worth it.  A Red Eye is a cup of slow drip coffee with a shot of espresso.  The drink is bound to keep you awake for hours to come so drink sparingly.

With the state of this economy times are tough and dollars are being stretched to new limits each and every day.  So why not stretch that dollar with your morning coffee?  Next time you are in Starbucks order a Short rather than a confusing Tall, Grande, or Venti that they already offer.  A Short is, you guessed it, smaller than the other three.  Because of the size of the cup, and it is quite smaller, you will save some pennies in the process.  Of course, you could kill two birds with one stone and order a high octane beverage but in a short glass.  It is a win win for everyone involved.

So this just goes to show that what is on the menu is not always what you are forced to order.  Have some fun with it and order something off the wall.  You never know, you might create something that you never thought possible but now can not live without.  (When I go to Subway I get half of my sandwich toasted and the other half left chilled.  It is literally two totally different tastes.  It makes some of the Subway employees a little angry, but in the end the only person they should be worried about is me.)  The next time you order at your favorite fast food place push the limit and order something not on the menu.  As they always say, have it your way.