Fast Five: Feel the Speed. Feel the Rush.

Fast Five: Feel the Speed. Feel the Rush.Last week I had the chance to screen Fast Five, the latest edition of the Fast & Furious franchise. The movie featured nearly all of the original cast members, this time in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. I knew it was Rio because of the gigantic Jesus statue that sits on top of the surrounding mountains. It’s actually the second largest Jesus statue in the world. It was the tallest Jesus statue until just recently. A small Polish town recently finished construction on the world’s tallest statue.

Anyway, back to the movie. For the record, I was a HUGE fan of the first four. The first one was by far, and will always be, my favorite. The soundtrack for the first one was just incredible. The cars… the women… the angle. It was just a fantastic movie. They screwed it up by making a second one. And then a third. You get the idea.

Same Old Song & Dance

The story in Fast Five is the same as before… steal a car and get chased by the police. What’s that? They stole a car? Oh no, let’s go get them! They stole another car? No way! How many times can we watch the same story play out before we stop seeing these on the big screen? (Apparently one more time because this is the second of a new trilogy of Fast & Furious films. So there will be at least one more.)

With each one they have always tried to best the previous in terms of shock value. I guess you have to do that to stay fresh and exciting, but this one takes it a bit too far. This movie didn’t do the series justice.

Granted, bringing The Rock into it, as well as bringing Vin Diesel back helped. But the only scene that mattered with those two characters was their fight scene. I guess in real life they hate each other… I wonder why? Maybe they fight about who has the bigger muscles.

That’s Not Real

I hate things that are unrealistic. Whether it’s with video games, books, movies, or whatever… if it’s not real, I don’t like it. I love being able to picture myself in the moment. This movie has several scenes where not only were the graphics horrible, making what is obviously unrealistic even more so, but some places where you just laugh at how ridiculous it looks.

I don’t want to spoil it for those of you who see the movie… but the last scene… with the vault… come on. No one would actually believe that this movie could actually happen. That is a huge turn off for me. The other four have had hints of that, but I was always able to picture myself there.

The acting is horrible… the dialog is stale… and quite frankly I am sick and tired of seeing the same guys on screen doing the same thing over and over again. The soundtrack wasn’t very good either, and for a film like this you need to have a solid soundtrack to keep me motivated. I will give them some credit though, as they used a lot of music that fit the area they were in. Not sure if they were artists from Rio, but the music did make me feel like I was in South America.

Go see it if you want, especially if you have already seen the other four. But don’t expect anything more than some fast cars and some improperly placed profanity. The series just continues to go downhill, and I hope they end this soon… I am over it.(If you want to talk to someone that actually enjoyed the film, give Duaine Booker a call. He has nothing but good things to say about the movie!)