A Tiger Woods Holiday Poem

Tiger Woods Holiday PoemWhat follows is a poem that was passed on to me by my favorite cousin. I call her my favorite cousin because, well, she is my only cousin, and after reading this she should be glad that she is my only one! As many of you know I am the single biggest Tiger Woods fan on the planet. Well, there might be someone out there that tops my dedication to the man, but I doubt it. So, when this recent media frenzy began I decided that I would wait until it was all over before I wrote my reactions on it. As you know, this is still going on with new women coming out of the woodwork and new allegations being spread about him and his personal life. So, this post is not my reaction to all of this but rather just the poem that was sent to me. Note that I do not laugh at the majority of the jokes that are being spread about him, nor do I approve with the lies that are being tossed around by sites such as TMZ and the National Enquirer. But, for those of you who are laughing I figure this might give you a little holiday chuckle. So sit back, grab a nice cup of eggnog, and read one writer’s reaction to the Tiger Woods scandal as he compares his saga to the holiday season. Merry Christmas everyone, and a happy new year!

Twas the  night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin’, chased by his spouse.

She wielded  a nine iron and wasn’t too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.

He’d been cheatin’ on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.

From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.

With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin’ them texts.

Despite all his cryin’ and beggin’ and pleadin’,
Tiger’s wife went investin’ — a new home in Sweden .

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
“If you’re gettin’ laid then I’m gettin’ paid.”

She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.