Wedding Planning Tips for Guys

Wedding planning is traditionally seen as something the bride and her mother do. Men often pay for the wedding but are not expected to get involved with the nitty-gritty associated with planning before the Big Day. Well, guess what?

Welcome to the 21st Century. Modern man is expected to play a substantial part in planning his own nuptials. It isn’t fair to expect your soon-to-be wife to take on the burden of planning the entire wedding and reception. She probably works full-time, just like you, so why should she do all that work on her own?

Planning a wedding is a lot of hard work, not to mention emotional angst. There is a huge amount to think about, although you can reduce some of the logistical burdens by eloping to Las Vegas and getting hitched in an Elvis wedding chapel. But we’ll assume you don’t want such a tacky wedding!

Here is a guide for all men getting married. Read through the tips and use them to help you get on board with your own wedding planning. The important thing to remember is that this is your big day, so even if you are not that fussed about the whole ceremony bit, it is a great excuse to have an awesome party and drink as much as you can handle (within reason).

Discuss a Theme with Your Fiancé

Sit down for “the conversation” with your fiancé. She probably has a ton of ideas about what type of wedding she wants. Listen to her ideas but don’t be afraid to voice your own. Even if she’s been planning this day since she was 12-years-old and has mood boards in her closet, it’s your big day too, so you have a voice.

Try and come up with a mutually agreeable theme. Make it personal. Try to evoke a theme that fits you as a couple. For example, if you met while backpacking around Thailand, go with a tropical paradise theme. Whatever theme you choose, it should be one that you are both happy with.

If your fiancée comes up with something truly outlandish, rein in her bonkers ideas and suggest something less crazy. However, be tactful when you do this. If you shoot her ideas down in flames, you risk causing an almighty row, complete with tears and tantrums.

Pick the Right Groomsmen

There is a popular reality TV show called “Don’t Tell the Bride”. The format is simple: a couple is given a lump sum to pay for their wedding, but the groom has to organize everything within a strict budget. Often, it all goes comically wrong, with many a groom choosing a hideous wedding dress for his bride-to-be or a completely inappropriate wedding reception. The moral of this story is: take advice and always ask for help when you are tasked with anything to do with wedding planning.

This is where your groomsman comes in. Ideally, you should pick your best friend. But if he’s not available, perhaps he’s been deployed to Iraq or is sick, then pick someone else you are close to. A groomsman’s job is to take care of the rings and organize the stag party. You need someone you can trust to get the job done without leaving you handcuffed to a fire hydrant in Cancun 24-hours before you get hitched.

Make a shortlist in order of importance but remember to take into account how responsible each person is. For example, just because a guy is your best friend, it doesn’t mean he’s a good choice for a groomsman. If Fred is the type who will leave you handcuffed to that fire hydrant, butt naked, then skip over him and move on to the next man on the list.

Be Sensible about the Guest List

This is your wedding, not the Royal Wedding. Just because your family expects you to invite every second-cousin, twice removed, remember that it isn’t compulsory. The more guests you invite, the most the cost of the wedding will rise.

Sit down with your fiancé and draw up a sensible guest list. It should include close family and close friends, but beyond that, everyone else is negotiable. Your boss and colleagues don’t need to attend your wedding unless they are friends. You don’t need to invite anything you dislike. You also have the last word on whether kids are included.

Stand Firm on the Guest List

Once you have a guest list agreed, stand firm on it. Do not cave in to pressure from your folks or the in-laws. Wedding guest lists are often contentious. Family members love to dictate who is invited and who isn’t. At the end of the day, this is your wedding and you and your fiancé have a right to decide who celebrates it with you. If you can’t stand lecherous old Uncle Bob, feel free to tell your parents he isn’t invited. You want to enjoy your special day, not spend it negotiating peace settlements between warring factions.

Compromise on the Budget

The budget is a huge part of any wedding. Your fiancé probably has her dream wedding all planned out, right down to the glittering reception on the shores of Lake Como in Italy. As a man, you may not be as fussed about the wheres and hows, as long as there is plenty of beer and food available after the ceremony.

Nevertheless, you need to agree on a budget and stick to it. Be sensible about what you can afford to spend on the wedding. Be aware that you may have to be the voice of reason if your fiancée has big ideas and there isn’t enough money on the savings account to pay for it all.

Work out how much money you can afford to spend without digging deep into a debt hole. Don’t be tempted to blow a fortune on the celebrations. It is all too easy to blow more than $40k on a wedding these days and many couples want to impress their social media followers with cute pictures of dream weddings in paradise.

Don’t be that man. You don’t need to spend a fortune to create happy memories. In fact, it is recommended that you don’t.

Starting married life with a ton of debt is not the best way to stay married.

On the other hand, you must be willing to compromise a little bit. Your fiancé wants the perfect wedding, so do your best to give it to her – within reason. Call in a few favors, ask friends to help out, and do your best to make it happen.

Take Responsibility for Some of the Tasks on the To-Do List

Don’t stand back and let your fiancé do everything. Go through the task list together and take responsibility for some of the to-do tasks. Scout out reception locations and draw up a shortlist so you can view the best picks together. If you want a wedding sparkler as a big surprise, get to it and organize one (you can find out more about wedding sparklers here).

Make it your job to plan the honeymoon or book cars for the reception. Anything you can do to take the pressure off your fiancé will be much appreciated. You are a team, so start acting like one.

Choose the Rings

Make it your job to choose the rings. This is one area where it is a good idea to take alone someone else for a second opinion. Ask your fiancé’s sister or best friend for advice. They will know your fiancé better than anyone. Check your fiancé’s ring size before you go ring shopping. Think about whether she would prefer a gold, white gold, or platinum band. Do you want to have something engraved on the rings? If so, plan this in advance.

Take Some Dance Lessons

The first dance is a memorable moment at any wedding. If you have two left feet, it will be memorable for all the wrong reasons. Now is your chance to shine. Book dance lessons and perfect your moves before the big day. Surprise your fiancé with some hot moves and whisk her around the dancefloor like a DWTS pro. She’ll be amazed and delighted in equal measure. Trust us, this is money well spent!

Carry Your Weight and Be Supportive

Weddings are incredibly stressful, so don’t be too surprised if you and your fiancé have a few arguments and disagreements along the way. There will be things you don’t agree on. All couples argue sometimes; it’s only natural. In fact, it is a good thing. Use this opportunity to hone your communication skills; it will stand you in good stead once you are married.

Many men struggle to communicate their feelings. Don’t be that man. If you are unhappy about something, voice your concern in a calm, non-accusatory manner. With care, you can talk through any issues you have and iron out the problems before they snowball.

Be supportive and carry your weight as the wedding planning gets underway. Show your fiancé how much this special day means to you. It shows her how much you love her.