Guess What, I’m Fat

Get over it, I’m fat. And to be honest, the older I get and the fatter I become, the less I care. I love food. I love to eat. Nothing in this world beats a cheap Chinese buffet. From the egg rolls to the sweet and sour chicken, there is just something about that tasty MSG I can’t get enough of.

I think my point in being fat, and not caring as much about it as most people do, is that I am going to die. Yep. I’m going to die. Oh yeah, and so are you. And you and you and you. We are all going to die at some point in our lives. The beauty of life is that we all lose. There is nothing that anyone can do about it, either. So why not enjoy my time here? Sure, you might argue that my eating habits are going to take three, five, hell even ten years off my life. By the time I get that old does ten years really make all that big of a difference?

Being fat comes with responsibility. I am asked all the time what restaurants are good in the Circle City. People ask what the best steak house is or the best plate of Thai food. Even where the best cheeseburger is or where they can get a helping of spaghetti and meatballs. I have heard it all. And I have had a recommendation for it all as well. I eat out a lot, and while you might spend your money on a fancy car or a big house, I spend mine on food and drinks.

There are times when I can’t sit down for a three-course meal. I need something quick. That’s why God invented McDonald’s. Better yet, that is why He invented the drive-thru. So I can run to any given restaurant and grab a snack, a meal, or just a drink or ice cream sundae. The easier it is for me, and the less I have to wait for my food, the more I tend to eat.

There are some fast food joints that I avoid though. After seeing a handful of videos on YouTube about what corporations are pumping into their food, it does make me at least conscience about what I eat. No matter how tasty it is. I wanted to break down some of the worst fast foods out there today. What’s for dinner tonight? Maybe this will help you decide what’s not for dinner tonight.

Long John Silver’s Fish Combo Meal

I love Long John Silver’s. They have the best hush puppies of anywhere I have ever been. But this particular dish is quite unhealthy. Packed with over 750 calories, this dish will fill you up in a hurry. The entire thing is deep-fried. From the two pieces of deep-fried fish, to the handful of fries, to the pair of hush puppies, all of this stuff is dipped in whatever kind of oil they have back there. But it’s so tasty. I save myself for Long John’s once or twice a month, if that. It’s cheap though, and if you are looking for some valuable seafood, you can’t beat it.

Hardee’s Loaded Biscuit and Gravy with Hash Rounds

They say that the most important meal is breakfast. If that is the case, then treat yourself to one of these. Well, of course, that might be the only meal you eat all day. The average adult is supposed to eat around 1,500 to 2,000 calories a day. This little meal packs well over 1,500 calories. But it is so good. The hash rounds are incredible; you don’t even need ketchup to cover the taste. And the biscuits, holy crap. There is a sausage patty, a stack of eggs, and some cheese all topped with some sausage gravy. It’s heavy too; if you order one, just lift it before you eat it. Imagine that in your stomach. Anyway, it’s delicious, so add that to your bucket list if you are on a diet.

Dairy Queen Chicken Strip Basket

Have you ever eaten dinner at Dairy Queen? Try it; their food is quite good. Not all Dairy Queens serve dinner, but the ones that do are solid. One of the items that you should try is their six-piece chicken finger basket. It comes with two pieces of Texas toast as well as a handful of fries. And don’t think about dipping your chicken in BBQ or honey mustard. The folks over at DQ do it right serving their chicken fingers with a side of sausage gravy. I always say, you never can have too much gravy.

Wendy’s Triple Baconator Combo Meal

Have you had one of these yet? Holy crap, this burger is retarded. And I say that in the absolute best way possible. This burger is huge too, and not what you would expect from a place like Wendy’s. This burger, served with a side of fries and a soft drink, will pack in nearly 2,000 calories. So make sure you don’t eat anything else that day, as this will give you all the energy you need for that day. This burger is a little expensive too, but for the size and the taste (let alone the guilt this thing has), its well worth it. If you feel guilty ordering one, get a Diet Coke instead.

Quiznos Tuna Melt

Now here you go, a healthy alternative to all of these belt busters. Oh wait a minute, not really. This little sub sandwich has nearly 2,000 calories in it. Yeah, I know! And they are only $5 now. They are trying to compete with the hit deals that Subway started last year and are offering their large sandwiches with more meat for the same price. They also have a lot more calories. The foot long tuna at Subway has nearly half that many calories. Either way, you will feel a little better about eating it.

As you can see, there are a ton of options out there for a quick meal. But at the same time, there are a ton of calories in those selections. So if you want to eat out, and you have no choice but to grab something on the go, then think smart. Head over to Panera Bread for a soup and salad. They actually have all of their calorie counts on the menu itself. Also, you can head over to Taco Bell or When Eddie Met Salad for a more natural and organic option. You can never eat too much salad. (You can eat too much dressing though. A salad no longer becomes a salad when you drown it with fatty salad dressing.)

No matter what’s for dinner, make sure you order a Diet Coke. That will save you a ton of calories right off the bat. Let’s eat!