Phone, Meet Hammer


I have a tendency. I have a few, but the one I am talking about today is to blame parents for a lot of what their children do. As you might already know, I hate kids. I have never wanted them, and they simply do not fit my lifestyle. And no, that is not a bad thing. At all. I am allowed to want to live a life unlike what society tells me I have to.

But when I blame parents for things, it is usually when their kids do something wrong. Like this for example. That cute girl you see up there went from a text message queen to a phone less and sorry little girl. But I do not feel she should be sorry. Not one bit.

This girl has a cell phone. Her parents have provided her a phone, for what they call “emergencies only”, and has given her the permission to carry it with her everywhere she goes. So this girl, smarter than most parents might seem to be (not all, just most) figured out how to text. She actually figured it out enough to send and receive over 20,000 messages last month. That is when she was hit with a bill, or at least her parents were hit with the bill, that totaled over four thousand dollars.

So, the protective and cheap (he might not be cheap, I mean, a four grand cell bill would cause me some alarm as well) father took her phone, and decided to see if it could act as a nail. He placed it on the table, and said, “Hello cell phone, meet hammer.” OK, he did not actually say that, but you get the idea.

But why was he so upset? He was upset for the obvious reasons of having to spend all that money on a single cellular bill, but also because he at some point had to realize that he was an idiot. He could spend next to nothing to have unlimited texting on his plan. For AT&T it is only $20 a month. And you know how they say a cab ride is cheaper than a DUI? Well, a text message plan is cheaper than a cell bill.

So why did he not have a text message plan? Probably because he thought he could save money by not having one. But in the end, who is the sucker? This guy, that’s who. So do not blame the daughter for her natural intentions of texting her friends.

But in the end do you think he will end up buying his daughter another cell phone? Yeah, probably. He is a protective dad, that is obvious, but do you think that he will succumb to the pressure of his daughter, his wife, and his gut to get her another one. Truth is, everyone has a cell phone. I read an article not a month ago that said over 86% of the world’s population has a cellular phone. I feel that this is a high number, and I do not feel that there are that many cell users out there, but it is a substantial number needless to say.

So a word to the wise. For those of you that are out there spending $$$ on your text messages, just get a damn plan. They are not that much more, and truth be told, I am going to text you before I call you. I might even send you a text saying, “Hey, call me when you can.”