I Wish I Had Known Before I Went

This past Friday night was date night for me and my honey. We had plans to go out to dinner before we headed to a major motion picture. However, thanks to Mr. Lo Mein and his unbelievable flavor, I was not hungry come dinner time. We decided to head to the AMC theater and see the new hit movie, Knowing. I say hit because everyone that was reviewing it, from newspapers to critics, had nothing but great things to say about it. A captivating event said one paper. A wild ride that never lets go says one magazine cover. A hit of the season said one critic. Needless to say, this was a must see film and based on the previews I had to agree.

So we head to the theater, and I guess other people wanted to see a movie on Friday night creating a line out the door. So we decide to head to the Nobelsville theater where the film did not begin until 9:40. So we head that way and grab some coffee before we head into the theater. We then head to our seats and as the credits roll I was excited!

The movie is based on a premise of a sheet of paper, covered front and back with what seem to be random number, but are truly the dates, longitude and latitude coordinates of the attack, and the number killed in a various collection of mother nature and terrorist activities. An intelligent youngster finds the numbers, the dad (Nicholas Cage) becomes obsessed with the numbers, yadda yadda yadda you can write the rest in your mind. The concept was great. It made you think that there was a purpose. That there was something that could make everything that happens from day to day worth it. I found this penny on the ground for a reason. I crossed the intersection now instead of five minutes ago for a reason. I got laid off for a reason. Everything in the history of the world was for a reason leading to the next event. A way to get your mind thinking, that is for sure.

But the movie was a fraction of the action the preview promised. It was slow, but when there was action it was intense and then just over. However, the more and more we get into the movie the more and more fake it truly becomes. By the time the last half hour comes I was so mad that I wanted to ask for my money back. I will not ruin anything in case you want to waste your money to go see it, but just think ice crystal space ships, over used special effects, and big blue dong. (That was a Watchman reference for those that have not yet crawled out from under the rock you live under and have see that.)

The movie had such a terrible ending that I was determined to write to you and tell you about it. It was worth the money until the last half hour which makes me happy that what happened next indeed happened. I was able, once the Knowing was complete, to cross off the first item on my bucket list. (I am not dying guys, calm down.)

After the film was over, in the theater right next to the one we were in, I Love You Man was playing. It started no more than five minutes after our film had finished. Sheryl wanted to do it, I wanted to do it, so we did it. (Stop it, not that. Get your mind out of the gutter will you?)

Sheryl and I movie hopped. We went from one to the other and did not buy a ticket! I know, I felt so bad about it, but it is a big fad right now. Think about all the ladies in L.A. carrying around hand bags from the latest designer hand bag or the fad of babies (do you know that 2008 was the highest number of new born babies in the history of the United States?).

I felt bad about it. I felt dirty about it. I wanted to, numerous times, to go pay for the film that was ten times better than that shit knowing. I wanted to go admit I was wrong, have them smack my hands, and kick me out. I wanted to be thrown in the trash can because I was most compared to the sticky floor. I was gross for sitting there. But, there is always a but, I did mark one item off my famed bucket list. This is big for a couple of reasons. This is big because one, I have not written my bucket list items down yet. I have not either thought of it in front of a pen and pencil or I have not had the motivation to do so. But I have to thank Mrs. Witkowski for the idea to make such a list come true. Sorry guys, it was not your movie that inspired it. (The Bucket List is a great movie, though. I highly suggest it. It is a crier.)

But by the time the film was over AI was OK with myself. I had hopped movies, cheated the system per say, and seen two films for the price of one. However, I think it was OK that I chose to do it on this particular evening. One, the first movie sucked, and two, there were hardly anyone there. So, I sat back, laughed, and watched the Hulk put comedians in a sleeper hold. It makes me want a best fried like that too. Not the character in the movie, the Hulk.